Money Smarts Blog

Nobody likes to think about dying. Especially when you're young, healthy, and busy building a life. There are vacations to plan, kids to raise, bills to pay, and approximately a million things on your to-do list.

Estate planning? That can wait until you're older, right?

I wish that were true.

In November 2010, my husband suffered a traumatic brain injury. After seven months in the hospital, he passed away in May 2011.

In an instant, the future we'd imagined together changed. And while nothing could have prepared me emotionally for losing him, there was something that helped me navigate those incredibly difficult months: We had planned ahead.

I'm sharing my story because I've experienced firsthand how important these conversations are. Not just as a branch manager at IHMVCU, but as a wife, a mother, and someone who knows how quickly life can change.

The Conversations We Almost Never Have

Years before my husband's injury, my older brother experienced an unimaginable loss. His wife suffered a stroke while nine months pregnant, and he lost both his wife and child.

Watching him navigate the grief, paperwork, and legal responsibilities opened my eyes to something most young adults don't think about.

Tragedy doesn't check your age before showing up.

When my husband and I welcomed our child, we decided it was time to have some uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

We met with a local attorney and established wills, and financial and healthcare powers of attorney.

We talked about who would care for our child if something happened to us, who would make medical decisions if we couldn't, and who would manage our finances.

They weren't exactly fun conversations. But looking back, I'm incredibly grateful we had them.

While my husband was hospitalized, I carried a copy of his power of attorney documents everywhere I went. Those documents allowed me to handle financial matters on his behalf while he was unable to do so himself.

For instance, one of his accounts was a small checking account he used for his weekend farmer’s market earnings. He loved building computers, and that was his fun money.

I opted to trim and tidy our finances while he was hospitalized, so I closed the account.   I presented the appropriate documents and received a grand total of $37.

It wasn't about the money. It was about having the authority to handle what needed to be done without another obstacle during an already overwhelming time.

Having those decisions made beforehand didn't make losing him easier. But it made an incredibly difficult situation a little less complicated.

And that's something I want for every family.

When Should You Start Planning?

Here's my answer: As soon as you're an adult with responsibilities, assets, or people who depend on you.

You don't need to be wealthy. You don't need to own a home. You don't even need to be married or have children.

If you have a bank account, a vehicle, a pet, someone you love, or preferences about your medical care, there are decisions worth making.

And if you have children? I'd encourage you to move estate planning toward the top of your to-do list.

Estate planning isn't just about what happens when you die. It's also about what happens if you're alive but unable to make decisions for yourself.

An accident, serious illness, or unexpected medical emergency can leave someone unable to manage their finances or communicate their wishes for weeks, months, or even longer.

That's why planning for both situations is so important.

Your Peace-of-Mind Checklist

You don't have to figure everything out overnight. But here are some important things to consider as you start planning.

1. Decide Who Can Make Decisions for You

If you were hospitalized tomorrow and couldn't communicate, who would make decisions on your behalf?

A few important documents can help answer that question.

• Financial power of attorney: Allows someone you trust to manage financial matters on your behalf, according to the authority granted in the document.
• Healthcare power of attorney: Designates someone to make healthcare decisions when you're unable to make them yourself, subject to applicable law.
• Living will or advance directive: Documents your preferences for certain medical treatments and end-of-life care.

One distinction I can't stress enough: A power of attorney generally ends when the person who granted it passes away.

It can be incredibly valuable during an illness or injury, as it was for my husband and I. But after death, other arrangements, such as a will, trust, beneficiary designation, or applicable ownership provisions, determine what happens next.

An attorney can help you understand the options and choose the right documents for your situation.

2. Make a Plan for Your Children

As a parent, this one hits especially close to home.

If something happened to you and your spouse or partner, who would care for your children?

It's not enough to assume a family member would step in. Have the conversation, make sure they're willing, and document your wishes appropriately.

Think about:

• Who would you want to serve as your children's guardian?
• Who would manage any money or property left to them?
• How would their everyday expenses, education, and future needs be covered?
• Do you have life insurance or savings to help provide financial stability?

You can also explore whether a trust makes sense for managing assets intended for your children.

And don't forget to review your plans as your family changes. New babies, marriages, divorces, and other life events can affect your decisions.

3. Get Your Financial House in Order

Here's a question: If someone had to take over your finances tomorrow, would they know where to start?

Would they know which bills are due, where your accounts are held, or how to access important information?

You don't have to share every detail of your financial life with everyone. But you should have a secure, organized way for the appropriate person to find what they need.

Consider documenting:

• Checking and savings accounts
• Loans, mortgages, and credit cards
• Retirement and investment accounts
• Insurance policies
• Household bills and automatic payments
• Important financial contacts
• Locations of essential documents and secure access instructions

Also, take a look at how your accounts and property are owned.

My husband and I held most of our assets jointly, which simplified several financial matters after his death. But different forms of joint ownership have different legal consequences, and joint ownership isn't necessarily the best choice for everyone.

Talk with your financial institution and an estate planning attorney about what makes sense for you.

4. Check Your Beneficiaries

This is one of those small tasks that can make a big difference.

Many financial accounts, retirement plans, and insurance policies allow you to name beneficiaries who receive the assets directly after your death without having to pass through attorney’s hands.  (or something to that affect).

But when was the last time you checked yours?

Life changes. Relationships change. Families grow.

Make sure your beneficiary designations still reflect your wishes, especially after marriage, divorce, the birth of a child, or the death of someone you've named.

And remember, beneficiary designations can take precedence over instructions in your will for the assets they govern.

At IHMVCU, we can help you understand beneficiary options available for eligible accounts.

5. Think About Life Insurance and Lost Income

After my husband's death, one of the biggest financial adjustments was the loss of his income.

I had always managed our household finances, so paying bills and tracking expenses wasn't new to me.

But making those numbers work on a different income? That was another story.

I had to revisit our budget, consider changes to our insurance coverage, and plan for our child's future.

I also sought advice from multiple financial advisors. Because sometimes getting a second opinion is just as valuable for your finances as it is for your health.

Whether you're married, single, or raising children, think about what would happen financially if you or someone in your household passed away or couldn't work for an extended period.

Would there be enough income to cover housing, groceries, childcare, and other expenses?

Life insurance, disability insurance, emergency savings, and an updated household budget can all play important roles in a financial safety net.

6. Don't Forget the Details

Sometimes it's the everyday things that create unexpected challenges.

Who knows the password to pay the electric bill? Who would take care of your pets? Where's the title to your car?

Consider making a secure emergency information folder that includes important contacts, document locations, recurring bills, and instructions for essential responsibilities.

If you have pets, think about who could care for them temporarily or permanently.

You may also want to document funeral or memorial preferences, so your loved ones aren't left guessing during an emotional time.

These details might seem small now, but they can mean a great deal to someone trying to manage everything later.

What Happens After a Loss?

This is something I wish more people understood.

Even when you've planned ahead, there's still a lot to navigate.

After my husband passed, I had to work through matters involving survivor benefits, Social Security, insurance, financial planning, and other important decisions.

The paperwork, terminology, and fine print can be overwhelming, especially when you're grieving.

Depending on your circumstances, surviving family members may need to contact employers, insurance providers, financial institutions, benefit administrators, and government agencies.

Having a list of important contacts and documents can make those first steps more manageable.

And please, don't feel like you have to figure everything out alone. Reach out to trusted professionals and people who can help.

Estate Planning Isn't One and Done

Today, I'm at a different stage of life. I have more assets and multiple children, and I'm working on establishing a trust as part of my estate plan.

A trust can be useful for managing and distributing assets, but it doesn't automatically replace every function of a will.

That's why it's important to work with an attorney who can help you understand how the pieces fit together.

Your plan should evolve as your life does.

A good rule of thumb is to review your estate plan every few years and whenever you experience a major life change.

Marriage, divorce, children, a new home, changes in finances, or the loss of someone named in your documents are all good reasons to take another look.

The Greatest Gift You Can Leave Behind

I know this isn't the easiest topic to discuss.

Nobody wants to imagine losing a spouse, leaving their children behind, or becoming unable to care for themselves. And when you're young, it's easy to think you have plenty of time.

I understand that feeling. But I've also lived through what happens when life doesn't go according to plan. I've seen it in my own family, and I've seen the financial challenges families face through my work.

Here's what I want you to remember: Planning ahead isn't about expecting the worst. It's about taking care of the people you love, no matter what happens.

Nothing could have taken away the heartbreak of losing my husband. But knowing we'd already made important decisions together gave me one less thing to worry about when everything else felt uncertain.

I often think of planning ahead as a final act of kindness. A parting gift to the people who mean the most to you.

Losing someone you love is hard enough. If you can make even one part of that experience a little easier for them, isn't that worth a few uncomfortable conversations today?

So make the appointment. Have the conversation. Organize the paperwork.

You don't have to have all the answers right now. You just have to start.

Because peace of mind isn't something you should wait until later to plan for.

IHMVCU can help you review your accounts and understand available beneficiary options. For legal documents, estate planning, and tax considerations, consult qualified professionals who can help you develop a plan for your individual circumstances.