Money Smarts Blog

February is the month of heart-shaped everything: candy, cards, and unfortunately, some heartbreaking scams. While you're scrolling through dating apps hoping to find “the one”, fraudsters are out there hoping you'll be the one to fall for their tricks. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) reported $1.14 billion in losses to romance scams in 2024 alone.

 Keep reading to protect both your heart and your wallet!

What Are Romance Scams, Anyway?

Romance scammers create fake profiles and form relationships to build trust, sometimes talking or chatting several times a day. Then they make up a story and ask for money.

You meet someone special on a dating website, app, or even on social media like Facebook. Soon they want to email, call, or message you off the platform. They say it's true love, but they live far away. Then they start asking for money. Maybe it's for a plane ticket to visit you, emergency surgery, or something else urgent.

How the Con Works

Step 1: The Perfect Match

 They create a profile that seems almost too good to be true, often claiming to be in the building and construction industry working on projects outside the U.S., working on an oil rig, in the military, or with an international organization. (This makes it easier to avoid meeting in person and more believable when they need money.) The photos? Stolen from someone else's account.

Step 2: Love Bombing

They want to establish a relationship as quickly as possible and gain your trust. We're talking multiple messages a day, talk of being together forever, and making plans for a future together, all within weeks. They may even propose marriage and make plans to meet in person (spoiler alert: that meeting will never happen).

Pro tip: If someone is talking about marriage before they've even asked what your favorite pizza topping is, that's a red flag.

Step 3: The Crisis

Once they've got you hooked, suddenly there's an emergency. Medical bills for them or a family member, a business deal gone south, travel expenses to finally meet you, VISA fees, or helping their sick child. They might even offer to help you get started in cryptocurrency investing (spoiler: it's all a setup). It always sounds urgent and heartbreaking.

Step 4: They Tell You How to Pay

Scammers want your money fast and in ways that make it hard to get back. They'll tell you to wire money through Western Union or MoneyGram, put money on gift cards and give them the PIN codes, send money through a payment app, or transfer cryptocurrency. The FTC says that in 2021, gift cards were the most common payment method, but cryptocurrency payments were the most costly.

Step 5: Rinse and Repeat

You send money once, and the requests keep coming. There's always another crisis, another reason they need “just a little more help”. Some people send money dozens of times before they realize what's happening. The pressure is constant, and they make it seem so urgent.

Who Do They Target?

Anyone can fall victim to a romance scam, but scammers do focus on older adults, especially those who are widowed, divorced, or simply looking for companionship. They see them as having more savings and potentially being less familiar with online dating red flags.

Recently someone came in after losing $5,000 over eight months. Let's call her Carol. The guy claimed to be a widowed contractor working in Malaysia. He needed money for equipment repairs, then his daughter's tuition, then emergency medical care. Every time Carol tried to video chat, there were “technical issues”. It wasn't until IH flagged these suspicious wire transfers that she started connecting the dots.

How to Keep Your Heart (and Wallet) Safe

Be careful what you post online. Scammers use details from social media to better understand and target you. Vacation photo with your location. They're taking notes.

Research their photo and profile. Use reverse image searches to see if the image, name, or details have been used elsewhere. Is it associated with another name or details that don't match up? Those are signs of a scam.

Do your homework. Search for their story online. Type the person's job plus the word “scammer” into a search engine. For example, “oil rig scammer”.

Go slowly and ask lots of questions. Real relationships take time to develop.

Never send money to someone you haven't met in person. Legitimate romantic interests don't ask for money.

Video chat or walk away. If they can't or won't video chat after a reasonable amount of time, that's your answer right there.

Watch for isolation tactics. If they're trying to pull you away from friends and family or asking you to keep the relationship secret, that's a major red flag.

Talk to someone you trust. Share your new relationship with family or friends. They can spot red flags you might miss when you're caught up in the romance.

Does their stories have more holes in it, than a bad rom-com? Trust your gut.

Remember, gift cards and cryptocurrency are fraudsters' love language. Real people don't ask for these as emergency funding.

If You Think You're Being Scammed

First, don't be embarrassed. These criminals are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable. Second, stop sending money and contact IH right away. Third, talk to someone you trust. Do your friends or family say they're concerned about your new love interest? Listen to them.

Report it to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Also notify the dating site, app, or social media platform where you met the scammer.

The Bottom Line

Here's the golden rule: Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person.

Fraudsters want you to feel isolated and embarrassed. I want you to feel informed and protected. The right person will understand that trust takes time to build, and they'll never, ever ask you to prove your feelings with money.

Stay safe, stay skeptical, and save your money for things that bring you joy, like chocolate, flowers, or maybe a nice dinner with someone you can actually see face-to-face.

If you or someone you know may be involved in a romance scam, please call is immediately!